Happy birthday

So now you’re nineteen. There’s all those things you could do last year when you were eighteen, like smoke, play the lottery, and join the army, act in a porno, carry a knife, own a rifle, adopt a child; all with the mindset of a whole new year. I wish so hard sometimes, that you were here to enjoy it all, and selfishly, that I could enjoy these things with you.

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Cough it up on the rug!